If you recognized the title of this post as a play on the Tyrese record then you should know what this post is about. I think we can all agree that music is powerful and something nearly everyone can enjoy. With the assistance of technology, every song imaginable is at our fingertips and I can’t speak for anyone else but I make playlist for everything, including sexy time.

I began to think about how music can alter our moods, like how I’ll put on trap and hip hop to motivate me to workout. It lead me to do some research on the effects of music on the brain and came up with some interesting info.

Research done by neuropsychologist suggest music lights up 3 areas of the brain: the pleasure system, the bonding system and the limbic system (what processes our emotions). There’s a bunch of medical jargon involved but to simplify it, listening to music around lovers increases our dopamine, oxytocin and serotonin levels aka all the lovey dovey happy drugs our brain naturally produces.

In one study centered around couples, the data showed that couples who listened to music together had more sex than couples that didn’t. Supporting the theory of the first study means couples that experience the bonding, hormonal high together, want to maul each other more. #Goals

Back to the actual music though. I have been listening to steamy love songs long before I realized. My family has an immense appreciation for music and the taste in my home was eclectic but always great. Songs about lovemaking were always on rotation I just didn’t realize it.

One of my favorite records is Fire & Desire by Rick James and Teena Marie. It’s such a powerfully sexy record about reconnecting with an ex to reminisce about how much of a heartbreaker he was until she awakened this desire in him. And Teena’s flawless falsetto and whistle notes? Stunning

Another song that comes to mind is No Ordinary Love By Sade. The lyrics aren’t sexually suggestive per say but Sade’s tone and the instrumental is positively provocative.

It took me a while to realize that the reason it’s called Grown Folk Music is because it was about sex, liquor and the occasional affair. I remember when I was maybe 12 or 13 in the house humming Knockin’ Da Boots by H-Town and my mother whipped her head around gave me that shut-your-mouth look.

Sexy music has been in rotation for years whether it had to be in secret (sorry mom) or overt. The storyline to some of these songs are positively entertaining.

So Anxious by Ginuwine is a perfect example. The song starts with Ginuwine calling a honey seeing if she’s down for a booty call @ 9. He reminisce on the last time they linked up and gets ready for an 11:30 sexscapade. Homeboy is so thirsty that he hits her back up at 10:10 asking where she’s at. Like she must have had magic in that punani, he was feenin’.

Some songs leave nothing for the imagination. Play by David Banner is one of the most raunchy songs I’ve ever heard and I love it. The opening lyrics to the song are “work that clit, come girl.” On this bouncy ass beat that I love he basically instructs this girl to play with herself before he sleeps with her. It’s legendary.

One would assume that the female version of that kind of anthem is My Neck, My Back (Lick It) by Khia. I don’t think so, it’s a banger of course but its not my empowered female record. Freak Like Me by Adina Howard takes the cake for me. She was bold and sexy, vocalized exactly what she wanted over an 808 driven r&b record. In her words “I need a rough neck n*gga that can satisfy me, just for me.”

Some songs are so subtle and catchy, the meaning goes completely over your head, well it went over mine anyway. Too Close by Next gets played in nearly every club and it wasn’t until 3 years ago that I realized that it was about some guy getting danced on so good, he gets hard. It’s embarrassing and completely backwards, like I knew what water sports was before a song I was mindlessly dancing and singing to for years. *Faceplants

I’d just like to take a second to thank Missy Elliot for the production value and lyricism displayed on Oops (Oh My) by Tweet. The song is sensual and a self love chant. The record is simple, Tweet comes home from a long night out, catches her reflection in the mirror and because she’s so sexy, she proceeds to masturbate. How hot is that? If I looked like Tweet, I’d have done the same thing.

I could go on all night about my favorite sexy records but I don’t want to bore you guys. Setting the mood is important and music can give context to the situation at hand. Maybe you get home and your partner is sprawled on the bed, no rose petals or wine but you hear Trey Songz and you know what they’re trying to do.

I have friends who have sex playlist. I even put a friend onto a song they ended up having sex to, I was probably more flattered than I should have been. Music spells out the tales of good, bad, sneaky and hate sex and will continue to for years on. I’m not planning on having kids but I look forward to the day I get to tell my niece and nephews to turn off that Grown Folk Music, part of the fun is knowing they’ll want to listen to it more cause I told them not to. Ah, youth.

I’m attaching my playlist with all my favorite records. Feel free to listen and let me know what songs need to be added ASAP.

Yours Truly,